Wonder Woman Saw Humanity For All It Was and Still Stepped Up
I am stepping up, too.
For all of the barrage of superhero movies, Wonder Woman is one of the very few I have seen. As the first multi-million dollar superhero tent pole movie directed by a woman, of course it was on my radar. But it wasn’t until I saw an extended version of the trailer with a behind-the-scenes snippet about the origin story, I decided I wanted to see Wonder Woman while it still was in the theater. Ancient Gods and Goddesses always fascinate me.
I assumed I would see the movie, think it was good, and move on. I wasn’t prepared for it remain in my consciousness for several days and inspire this post. Nor was I prepared for a fight scene to resonate with me the most. Fight scenes are normally my least favorite part in any movie. In the scene Wonder Woman, is battling Ares. As she holds a tanker above her head, ready to crush Dr. Poison, she begins to have more awareness of the totality of human beings. Realizing it is not a clear cut line between who could be good and who could be bad, she chooses not kill Dr. Poison.
In that way, I am like Wonder Woman. I am touched by the kindness, compassion, empathy, and love people can show one another. I truly see the potential of people, which some may perceive as naive. However, I also see the horrible things people say and do to each other, to animals, and to our planet. I am probably more aware of these horrendous things than people give me credit for. But to deny both sides of humanity exist interconnectedly, is to truly live in a bubble.
Superheroes save the day for each massive end of the world scenario they encounter, but everyday heroic actions are about stepping up and building bridges between different ideas, thoughts, beliefs and values. We have become so quick to judge someone who we perceive to be on the other side of an issue: a liberal said it, it must not have any merit; a conservative said it, it must not have any merit. We even judge (sometimes more harshly) within our own group if someone expresses an opinion opposing the majority’s belief.
As it becomes easier and easier to surround oneself with like-minded people, I fear the day when all the bridges have collapsed. However, I also know the value of being surrounded by like-minded people. I need to have people in my life who share similar views with me AND who have views different from my own. We may not always get along or agree, but we have to have a mutual respect for each other.
I have no desire to get into screaming matches or even heated debates with people, but some of my most fascinating conversations have been with people who have different views, beliefs, or experiences from my own.
A few years ago, I rounded a corner in my house and happened to see two people standing at my front door. Before they had a chance to ring my doorbell, we made eye contact, and it was kind of hard to pretend I wasn’t home. It was a husband and wife team, telling people about a new church coming to the neighborhood and looking for new parishioners. I am not religious by any stretch of the imagination, but I am very spiritual.
I initially started to blow them them off; after all, their views were unsolicited. The husband asked me a question and to my surprise (and probably his) I answered the question honestly and thoughtfully within the construct of my own spiritual belief system. The husband and I ended up having almost a ten minute conversation on our spiritual and religious beliefs. Both of us were fully aware we were never going to change the other person’s viewpoint. But we were genuinely respectful and truly listened to each other. We only responded after the other one had completed a thought or question. In some ways it was a bit surreal. I normally try to avoid talking to random people at my door, and I am pretty sure the husband and wife team normally disengage as soon as they know someone isn’t willing to convert to their religion.
When our conversation wrapped up, the husband actually suggested he and his wife would be open to further discussions with me in the future, still knowing he had no chance of converting me. I actually kept his card for a while. I was tempted to have another discussion with him, because the conversation was so fascinating and completely unexpected. But his wife couldn’t understand why he was engaging with me once it became abundantly clear I wasn’t going to change my mind. Her silence and body language had spoken volumes, so I ultimately threw his card away. However, the encounter has stayed with me.
There was a time I was like her. My attitude was: “Fine, you don’t agree with what I am saying, I have no time for you.” It took me a while to go from that attitude to being open enough to participate in deep conversations with someone whose belief system is radically different than mine. I had to examine and understand my core and my essences, in order to be open to hearing and understanding where others were coming from, even when I disagreed with them. By consciously examining my own belief system I was able to understand why I believed certain things, instead of just allowing others to influence what I should be believing. By actively listening, I have found sometimes our ideas and beliefs contain similar elements, but not always. I had to learn to be comfortable with knowing sometimes the only common ground is respect. It may seem easier to dismiss someone’s views, or ideas, because they differ from ours however it is through these types of discussions we are able to change our perceptions of others and potentially change their perception of us.
I am not perfect in all of these types of discussions, I still can become irritated and frustrated. But I have learned, by coming from a place of respect for another human being it makes it easier for me to engage. And the more conversations I have with others who have different viewpoints, the easier it becomes to hear where they are coming from. It is also knowing when to end the conversation, even if you need to be the one to back off. People can only handle a finite amount of different viewpoints at any given time. Genuine discussions, need to give each participant time to process what has been said and how it relates to what they already know. Having the strength and the grace to end the conversation before it tips into disaster is a valuable skill to practice and to have.
When we only stay on our respective “side”, we feel comfortable, and safe. But that comfort and safety is only an illusion. By building a wall around ourselves, we become fearful of what is beyond the wall. No matter how high or how long or how thick the wall is, life is still happening on the other side. And the more distance we create between us and the other side, the more we imagine what must be beyond the wall becomes uglier and more grotesque, and gains more power over us. Our fears then allows us to keep thinking only of all the bad and destructive things humans are capable of.
Fear is a powerful motivator for allowing us to forget our own humanity and compassion. Most importantly, fear allows us to forget the kindness, the empathy and the love that also reside in the humans on the other side of the wall. Humans are checkered, colorful beings, who can simultaneously possess the worst traits AND the best traits.
It is that very complexity that allows me to keep creating bridges instead of walls. Allow yourself to embrace the essence of Wonder Woman. Take the first step and truly listen to someone who has a different viewpoint from yours. Deflecting bullets is an amazing skill to possess, but allowing yourself to see humanity for its totality and still show it love is a superpower.
Now is the time to step up and persist.
