To Carry a Purse…

Tara Wilken
2 min readJun 10, 2021

Or not

My godmother and I

Even on the best of days, it can be hard to feel like you are enough.

When you mix in being part of the LGBTQIA+ community (or questioning being a part of the community) it can even be more complicated.

Before I was out as a gay woman, I hid by wearing super bagging clothes.

But I was also hiding from myself.

A lot of gay or lesbian women when they come out go for more masculine or androgynous look.

However, for me as I became more comfortable at being out as a gay woman, I actually went more feminine.

I started dressing more feminine. And wore clothes that actually fit. I became more comfortable in lipstick. Usually mixed with jeans and comfortable shoes of course. 😁

When I came out there weren’t a lot of role models who were openly out and embracing their feminine side. Which made me feel like I wasn’t doing and being enough to be gay.

In fact, the first rude remark I heard was from a group of lesbians.

Because I was carrying a purse.

It took me several years to be comfortable with be gay and carrying a purse.

As it’s Pride month, I felt it was important to mention this story.

There is no right way to explore your journey or how you identify. Or if you carry a purse or not.

And over the course of your lifetime it may change too. And that’s okay.

You are enough no matter what.

Whether you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community or not, the more you are able to feel comfortable in your body, the more you feel worthy and enough.

And just because you feel worthy in one area of your life, you still may feel insecure in another.

To give your self-worth and enoughness quick boost here are 3 things you can do.

  1. Have gratitude for your organs.
  2. Give yourself a compliment
  3. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself

Who are you when you believe, feel and know you are worthy and enough?

Fun fact it was super hard to find a picture of me with a purse strap in the picture. 🤣 Normally, I set my purse down before I get my picture taken. The picture at the top of the article is me and my godmother a few years ago!

🏳️‍🌈 Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈



Tara Wilken

Well-Being Curator. Empowering high achievers with easy, practical self-care resources. So you can spend time with people who matter.