The Stress of Caregiving

Is like nothing else

My Grandma and I at a Doctor’s visit. I surprised her by meeting her on St Patrick’s Day seeing my Mom took her to the Dr.

Stress comes in many different forms, but one of the most unique forms is caregiving.

Not only are you already stressed about your loved one who needs care. But as a long term caregiver it takes an emotional, physical and spiritual toll.

To the point of almost losing a part of yourself when you’re a caregiver. And it’s not something we as society talk a lot about.

I remember when my Mom and I were doing a lot of caregiving for my grandparents. People would ask about my grandparents, which was lovely, but rarely anyone asked how I was doing.

And I’ll admit it hurt.

Even if I may not have been able to articulate how I was feeling, it would have been helpful to be acknowledged as an individual.

Because you already tend to feel like you can’t take time for yourself. And if you do, you feel guilty about it.

Having someone ask how I was doing, would have been so welcomed.

As a society we tend to be uncomfortable with things that are real instead of superficial. Truly caring about how others are doing is something which would be beneficial to all of us. Even if it is just listening, if you don’t know what to say. And saying. “I don’t know what to say” is better than nothing.

Depending on what type of caregiving, it may not be possible to take a lot of time for yourself. It’s okay to acknowledge that too.

When both of my grandparents needed a lot of time and energy from us, like when they were both in the hospital. Or one would have just come home and the other went into the hospital. Those days were whirlwinds.

Sometimes my self-care was a shower. And not even a long one at that.

But I acknowledged in the situation it was my moment of self-care. Which helped me get through it.

When you are a caregiver your life shifts in dramatic ways, which adds to your stress level.

You end up having to cancel plans so often, you decided it’s easier just not to make them.

And sometimes you end up losing friends because of those canceled plans. They don’t understand why you don’t have time.

Or why you’re so exhausted it takes all you can do to crash into bed at night.

Whether you are a caregiver or know someone who is, just acknowledging the extra stress can go a long way. And make it feel less lonely.

The best tip I can give to people who are caregiving is take those small moments for yourself, even that quick shower. And if you need to cry in the parking lot, cry.

Speaking of small moments, every Monday I send out an easy and quick self-care tip you can do in under a minute. That’s it. Not multiple emails a week, just one quick tip every Monday Morning.

If you’re interested in getting a quick self-care tip on Monday mornings, sign up here.